In a conversation I was having the other day I found myself talking…..A LOT. Too much, even. I found I was trying to explain, no, actually I think I was trying to more like justify my “hobby/job.”Hobby: An activity done regularly in one’s leisure time for pleasure.
Job: A paid position of regular employment.
As I look back at the conversation I don’t even think this person really asked me to explain it at all. I am not sure how it started but now looking back I think I was not justifying it to her I think I was saying it out loud for myself to hear. Almost justifying it to….myself. Do you ever feel this way? Like you have to explain why you are doing or did something? When, in fact if they know you and they love you they will already know your heart and your intentions. If you are real and true to yourself and your soul then you will also know your intentions and not need to feel justified- but yet sometimes – we just need the reassurance from loved ones that what we are doing is ok. Sometimes it helps us to hear it..right?
My whole life I have been in the service industry… from waitress to licensed Cosmetologist to a Cosmetology Instructor on to a Group Fitness Instructor. These things all have to do with working with the public. Working with people. Bettering people- making people feel good. With doing this it made and makes me feel good. I am a people person- I get lifted up by being around others.
I never had big dreams of being a stay at home….never. I never, ever imagined I would be- I just didn’t have that desire. I wanted to be a career mom and wife- take my kids to daycare.. come home and be a mom and then back to work the next day. I wanted to have that balance. I knew that I would not be good at home all day all the time- I needed to be with people to help fill my cup. When I became pregnant the plan was not for me to quit my business I worked so hard to build up. That was never the goal or the intention. I am not some amazing women that gave up her life for her kids. Yes, I gave it all up- but not by choice. I had too. Kevin starting a new job at the time and our sitter situation backing out at the last minute- there was no other choice- I had to quit. It just kind of worked out this way. So, please don’t think I am this amazing super mom that found out she was pregnant and said “ok, my career is done now on to mommyhood.” Nope- I didn’t…it just happened. In the process of it all though I did truly learn to love and embrace my days home with my kids.
That all being said I am human. I still need to find ways to fill my cup. Yes, my kids and husband do help with this a lot. I need to have my own thing though. When I found there was a way to do a lot of this from home I decided to go for it. My workouts help me- but I miss group fitness- so when I record them I feel like I am still teaching to people. I have always been into cooking and trying to find ways to make things lighter- so when I discovered I could do videos and share on FB I thought this was great! I love that in the early hours of the morning I can sit in front of my computer and check emails and messages from clients in the peace and quite of my own space and communicate with others. I feel like I have found a way to have my “hobby” be a job that helps pay the bills—but it does NOT feel like a job at all!! I love having clients and customers that I can help from home. It makes me feel like me again. It makes me feel whole and complete. It makes me feel like I have a legit career while being home with my kids. I absolutely LOVE this. I feel I have found a way to work with people the way that I used to but from my own home while raising my kids. I do most of my work when they are sleeping or napping – yes sometimes I do let them watch a show or play independently while I “work”. Here it is though. I know for a fact that someday—very very soon—these kids will be in school full time. Then these kids will be in sports and off to college and then married with families of their own. When this all happens I know that for me to be me and to keep my cup filled I am going to need this. I am going to need something for me- to fall back on when motherhood slows down.
Yesterday Kevin and I went golfing. There was an older gentleman, probably in his 80’s and his daughter behind us. He was good too- like really good. I was thinking to myself, I bet this guy golfed sometimes when his kids were younger. I bet that golfing helped fill his cup and he took time for himself to do this hobby he loved. Now he can still play but now he gets to play with his daughter too. They have something together now that is healthy and makes them both happy. The daughter watched her dad as she grew up doing something healthy for himself and noticing that this made him happy- she then took an interest in this healthy habit and now they get to play together all of these years later. I want this- I want this with my kids. I want them to see there momma and dad doing healthy things that fill up their cups so that they too will develop these healthy habits. I want my girl to go on runs with me when I am in my 50’s. I want my boys to be helpful to there wives in the kitchen as they are watching me in the kitchen now- I know that they are learning. I want them to learn how to garden and live off the land and use clothes lines and how to recycle. How to shut off lights when they leave a room and to shut the water off when they are brushing there teeth. How to put coolers outside when it rains and use that water for the flowers when we need to water again. These things- my mom taught me a lot of these things and I am trying my hardest to hand these habits down to my kids. Most important though- I want them to learn how to fill their own cup up—I want them to learn that when you are happy inside and content with what you are doing it shows on the outside and trickles down to the most important people in your life.
My point is this. DO THINGS THAT FILL YOUR CUP. Healthy things that fill your cup. Things that will better you. When you are bettering you than you are also bettering the ones that you love. It all comes full circle. One day those kids of yours are going to have lives of there own and you want to be able to keep your cup full when they are out filling their’s. It’s good for the soul.