I tried to go back to “working” out of the home a few days a week. I loved the thought more than actually doing it. I had the littles in daycare a few days a week and the big boys are already in school part time.
It was all going too fast. Just a few months that past by with this busy schedule made me realize so much. My kids are only babies once. My baby making years are over. That is tough to sit with for me. Tough.
I am having such a hard time grasping the fact that I am done. The chapter in my life is over of having newborns in the house.
I am heading into my 38th year of life and Kevin 40.
A new chapter is going to start now. I am not sure what it will all be. I dont need to know I guess….. I am excited for the next chapter but also having so many mixed feelings.
I was not ready to close the book on having more kids- but we are closing it. We are going to enjoy every single moment with these four littles. Taking every smile in every cry every tantrum every hug every snuggle everything.
Your life is right now. It is what you are doing right now. It is not next year. It is not when you get the raise. It is not when your kids get a little bigger. It is not when you lose the weight or get the promotion or take the vacation. It is not next week or next year or next month. Your life is what you are doing right now.
And what i am doing is being the best damn stay at home momma i can be. And that is ALL I need to be.