Real and Raw

THIS IS UNCOMFORTABLE AND SCARES ME.

I was not going to post this on my personal page but I just feel like had need too…

i get nervous to post this s%&t to sometimes- but sometimes you just gotta do scarey $hit to help others feel good- to feel better– to release the perfection and embrace the flaws….

If there is something I dont want it is this…

I don’t want you to compare your life to mine and think that I am living some perfect and glamorous life.. I am not..

Written a year ago and still stands true…..

It is no secret that I am not perfect. I don’t try to be and I don’t want to be. I strive to be my best self and that’s all I can do. Would you believe that the picture on the right with the yellow shorts I actually weigh LESS than the picture on the left with the blue shorts? It is posing- it is standing up tall and proud and flexing that gives me that look. On the right you can see what I really look like when I slouch over and just let go. I embrace both. That belly did birth four kids. It isn’t about that though. It is all about just knowing that I AM NOT PERFECT and I am ok with it. I do feel better than I have in YEARS…or maybe ever. That has nothing to do with 6 pack abs…It has to do with me working my ass off and not giving up even when it was/is hard. It has to do with me accepting my flaws. It has to do with me being A-OKAY with imperfection.

Sometimes I admit I over do it—sometimes I wear myself out and forget to take breaks. Sometimes I have cookies for dinner. Sometimes I drink Gatorade. Sometimes I have several cheat meals in a week. Sometimes I beat myself up for missing a workout. Sometimes I yell at my kids. Sometimes I yell at the hubby. Sometimes I get ticked off at everyone around me because I am unhappy with myself or a choice I may have made. Sometimes I overextend myself. Sometimes I drink an entire pot of coffee before 10:00. Sometimes I eat cereal for dinner. Sometimes the kids eat mac and cheese twice in a day. Sometimes it is nice outside and I lay on the couch with the kids and watch movies all day. Sometimes I buy things not organic. Sometimes I bribe my kids with fruitsnacks. Sometimes I lock myself in my room and cry. Sometimes I ignore my kids crying and fighting and just make them work it out. Sometimes I run the dishwasher/dryer SEVERAL times in a day. Sometimes I order out lunch and dinner. Sometimes the dogs don’t get walked. Sometimes I get worked up about the smallest things and let it fester in me for days. Sometimes I worry. Sometimes I wonder if I am doing enough. Sometimes I wonder if I am a good mom/wife/sister/cousin/niece/friend/coach/stylist.

At the end of the day though—most of the time I have my sh*t together. I know that MOST of the time, MOST of the things I am doing I do with ALL OF MY HEART AND ALL OF MY SOUL. I am doing the VERY best I can. I live with moderation. I live this life as authentic as I can be. I may not be perfect. But what I am I am damn proud of today, tomorrow and hopefully always.

If you are trying to be perfect I am NOT the coach for you. But if you want to be the best you that you can be, I am here for you. I would love to help. I have been there….I have been low, like real low…I know how to get out of it, I know how to feel good again.

hugs, your friend in health,

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