What others think of us…….

11/13/2018

“I don’t give a sh*t what anyone thinks!” Is that not kind of our “go to” mantra these days? Does it not make you feel a little better to say that out loud sometimes? I feel like when we are fighting against the worse we want to put up our guard and those words just automatically come out. But do we really believe them? Do we really “not care what anyone thinks?”

It would make the world a lot easier place to live if we were not constantly caring so much. The truth is though that we were placed on this earth to be with people. To love and to be loved. It is a natural need and want to be accepted by others. You are not alone. Almost everyone on this earth whether they say it or believe it want acceptance from others. We do- we all do.

You don’t want to go around life with your guard up so very high on NOT CARING what others think that you end up letting NO one in. You just don’t, ok. No one does.

So, how do we find balance? How do we care what some think and not others? …..Well, we need to find the value in our relationships. We need to really think about the source when being criticized by others. It is not always a bad thing to hear some constructive criticism when coming from a good source. It is also not always a good thing to be praised constantly for decisions that you make even when they are not the best for you. You can’t just be around people who ALWAYS agree with you either.

Brene Brown said it best in her book “Rising Above” she said to take a piece of paper out 1 inch by 1 inch. Write down those people’s names that opinions really matter to you. Who should be on that list?….Those on that list should be the people who not only see you fall face down but they lend out a hand and help you up… with no judgment..no “I told you so”. They want you to truly be your best and you them. They not only see your flaws but they love you for them. When you rise strong they are your biggest cheerleaders. (Not exact quote but what I took from it) Now if that 1 by 1 inch paper is not enough room for you……then you need to edit.

When you come into a case where the weight of the world is taking you down, and you will— your anxiety of what others think of you is taking over your entire life….I want you to pull out that paper- get in touch with those people only….those are the ones who will talk you off the ledge. If you are in check with them then you need no one else’s approval.

Got it? Carry that paper around. Pull it out when you need to. Remember this, we are all just doing our best…even the people who don’t seem like they are doing the best they can…they are. Everyone is doing the best with what they have. No one gets to tell you that you are not. —-unless they are on the paper that is…..🙂

Dont miss it this season!!

And its back!! Holiday cocktailing- recipes and more!— stay tuned all season long for great ideas to get you through this holiday season with less stress less worry less calories 🙂 and more enjoyment more ease and more fun!

Check out this old video from last year..

Please share or tag a friend who would appreciate a good holiday cocktail OR me totally messing up.

Its for reals funny you guys because i tried to do this take 100 times and when I started Healthyhairdresser i always tried to be perfect and not mess up…..finally I got to and am still at a point where perfection is NOT what i want to be or be know for…

I mess up and thats coo..

Click here to watch and “like” my page to not miss a beat!

Hopes and dreams?

I recently discovered that i am not 25 anymore….(cue laugh)

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I am realizing that when I was 25 I had the whole world open- i could do anything.. I realized that it was all just at my finger tips…i had goals…those goals came true… It was good.

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I am now watching these 20 something year olds searching- they are searching for their dreams what they want to become what their goals are- they are finding their way and they are succeeding in ways that I never again will be able too. Not because i cant hit goals- its because I am not a YOUNG dreamer anyone- I am an OLDER one with different responsibilities a different stage in my life. I have evolved from what I was then I am more experienced. So being an older dreamer is not a downfall. Just different.

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I am not number one anymore. My “career” path and my goals they are not number one anymore- I don’t feel like the whole world is at my fingertips – I still feel like I can do anything now…..but within reason…I can do anything but instead of me and my goals coming first it will be my kids first.. i will always make all my decisions now around if it will be good for my family- not just me.

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Is this a bad thing? NO, not at all. It just means that I have been there and done that— my 20 year old goals. I have had the career the big dream the big goal I crushed it and then I all of a sudden became 37 years old….and again…a dreamer.

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Why cant I just stay in one place and be content with the many goals I slayed? Why cant I say I did it and then just stop and be done. Why do i have to keep searching my soul for the next thing I am going to do? Where is my contentment that I pray daily for?

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I am 37 years old. A mom of 4 and a wife. I can still dream- I can still have goals. They are just different now. Just because I am not 25 anymore does not mean i cant still think big things will happen. Just because i nailed all of my 25 year old goals does not mean I have to quit shooting for more.

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I have been told many of times to just stop- just be a mom – just stop and one day again you can focus on your goals that you might or might not have…but do I really have to just stop being me because i am a mom? Are you telling me that none of you have hopes and dreams…maybe not career dreams or writing a book dreams or anything like my dreams- but you still have dreams- right? Just because your a parent does not mean you dont have dreams….they might just look different than mine….am i too old for dreaming?

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Do you ever hit an age where you think- well this is my life? It is who I am and all I will ever be. Do you ever hit that age and that point of throwing in the towel on wanting more out of life? Of having no more goals?

Gosh, I kind of hope not…

I mean sure I am content with the way my life turned out- I absolutely am and I am embracing everyday and living in every moment and learning and growing the best i know how….but will i ever stop dreaming? Will I ever not have goals- no , I wont. That is who I was and who always hope to be….

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And you know what..

I love it!

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I may not know what lies ahead exactly – I may not know the plan but I know who does…and i know he will keep directing me to it.

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Enjoy the ride folks, it only goes around one time,

Xoxo- AD

How to get in the healthy groove! Steps to a better you!

Tips to get into a healthy lifestlye groove…..

1. MEAL PREP – if you are NOT doing this it will change EVERYTHING for you- every…thing….(dont know where to start? Ask me!)

2. WATER!! Drink water — all day long! Half your body weight in OZ….it not only keeps you full and curbs your appetite but it is good for your skin, nails, hair and of course your insides!!

3. Move your body every day- even if it is just a 10 minute walk… start with that- ok? Small steps

4. Have a veggie with ALL meals and cut out starchy carbs in the later part of the day. The last thing you should do is eat a huge bowl of pasta and go to bed- your body has no chance to burn this off.

5. Remember that ROME was not built in a day and neither will your health be- IT takes patience- it takes discipline and it takes TIME….focus on the next hour ahead of you the next meal not next week next month next year..JUST ONE STEP at a time…..

So today- pick one of those goals- one thing what is it going to be? I want to know what is the one thing you will focus on today!!?? Let’s hear it

Xoxo= ad

jelly anyone?

This has honestly been on my mind a lot lately. I used to think this way in life. Way back in my early salon days for sure! I used to compare and see others doing so much better than me and i would get jealous or envious. I would see them doing the same thing i was doing but to me they were jsut killing it and i was failing at it.

Then you look at these people that you are comparing yourself too. Think about it- these people have things in common with you, right? They obviously have the same interest as you that you must have crossed their path in some way. Maybe you have the same career or the same taste the same kind of style possibly have similar friends? I mean something made you pay attention to this person, right?
Turn it around- turn this envy feeling or the jealous feeling around into something that benefits you and them! You have the SAME things in COMMON the same- you would not be envious of them if you didnt like what they were doing or how they were doing it, right? If you feel jealousy toward someone it is usually becasue you want what they have. So- how can you change this horrible feeling that seriously makes you miserable and I am sure makes you someone you don’t really want to be, right? So , what you can do….you can reach out- ask them how they got their. Ask them where they shop or how they learned to style their hair that way…ask them for feedback on things that you are trying to do….maybe even work together – to be…..BETTER…#bettertogether.
This has so much truth and it takes away so much pain and yucky feelings. It makes things so much lighter! When you realize that we are all just doing our best we are all just trying to succeed at our dreams …. When you realize that going it alone does not bring you the most success…the real magic starts to happen ya’ll!
These people that make you feel a little jelly – those are YOUR PEOPLE- you are interested in the SAME things….so, work together- not against…ok….it lifts you and it lifts them and after all #werisebyliftingothers

10 years❤️

November 1, 2018

It was 70 degrees 10 years ago on this day. We were young and so full of excitement. Many people had doubted we would ever make it this far. After all, we had only dated for 9 months before we got engaged.

10 years. TEN freaking years. So much has happened in those years. Four houses, 4 businesses, 3 towns, 2 dogs and 4 kids.

I remember when one of my bff’s set us up on this blind date. I was like, no freaking way. I am not going on a blind date. I was just starting out my first business and I had no room for guys in my life. I had great girlfriends and my career. I was living the big city life in Madison. All was great! Money finally coming in for this 25 year old and the possibilities seemed endless on where I could go and what I could do. Big city girl with her fancy clothes and bleach blonde hair her long red nails and fake tan. No one was going to settle me down. No one.

I will never forget when he walked up the steps at the Great Dane. I thought- ok he is cute. I made my 2 friends go with me on this “date”. So, there we were Kevin, I and 2 of my besties. Poor guy but he didn’t mind at all. We had fun. We had a lot of fun. Said our good byes at the end of the night and went our separate ways.

The next day I didn’t really think into it too much. I just went about my business and that was that. Fun times with a new friend, I thought. We actually did not see each other again for another month. I was too busy all the time when he would ask. I just think I didn’t want to get to close. I was having fun in my freedom and not ready to settle down. He was persistent though.

A month later another date for ice cream and a movie. Another month later I finally started giving in a bit. I was really liking him but not sure if I was liking the seriousness of this all.

By month 4 he met my family and I his – by month 9 we were engaged! One year later married. Here we are today.

It has not been easy and perfect. Not in the least. If it was that would not be normal. We both have had moments we were angry and wanted to leave. We have. We didn’t though. We stuck it out. It seems like when you go through super hard times and you get through them it brings you SO much closer. SO MUCH. Now fast forward to today we have 4 kids and life is good- we are so blessed. We really are. But that doesn’t mean it is easy and roses and happiness all day everyday.

We continue to grow- we continue to love. We continue to embrace each other’s flaws and celebrate each other’s victories. I once said in a blog that I would never get married again- and that may be true. That doesn’t mean that I don’t love being married. Having a partner to share life with – there is nothing like that. He knows me better than ANYONE on this earth- anyone – and what is really great is that he excepts me inside and out for who I am and what I stand for. He might not always like it but he excepts it and I him. That is what its about. It is not about money, or pride, it is not about who does more or who helps more it is not about if you are happy today or if you are struggling it is just about love. When you make it simple like that it makes it so much easier.

Does he/she love you even with all of your flaws that God created you with? IF so you are one of the luckiest humans on earth to find that. Not everyone has someone to love them through thick and thin. It is actually kind of rare to find. If you found it hang on tight- even when it feels like it could be falling a part….as long as there is still love it will not fail.

Now, if you are on the other end and have not found your one yet- let me tell you this- you will. Don’t give up hope. You will find it. I never in a million years thought I would find mine. God will send you the right person at the right time and likely when you are not even looking for it.