Reposting for IVF week

As seen on

Scary Mommy

This week is Infertility Awareness Week

Wanted to repost this blog in honor to support those who struggle…

IVF X 2

Exactly 4 years ago to the date this week my uterus felt like it was ripped out of me, stomped on and thrown back into my guts. It was a week much like this week- beautiful and almost summer like. The air was crisp and clean and people were excited for football and all the fun fall things ahead. Me, I was laying in bed – crying and worrying mostly. Worrying that if this procedure did not work- I was never going to have kids. I was never going to experience motherhood- Kevin was never going to experience fatherhood. And worse, I felt like if it didn’t work-It was me. My fault. Did I not do enough? Was I not healthy enough? Did I inject the medication wrong? Was I too stressed out? Were my eggs no good? Oh, man I can t even describe the amount of worry I felt. Yes I was a Christian and we are not supposed to worry because “tomorrow will worry for itself.” But I WAS WORRIED. I had a plan and this plan needed to work and if it didn’t I was surely going to lose my shit. God only gives you what you can handle— or this, God only gives you what HE can help you handle. Either way- he knew I couldn’t handle a negative test.I know this date very well. Not only because it was Labor Day weekend but also my cousin would be delivering her new baby girl this next week and I knew if I had a negative test I would never be able to step foot in that hospital room and see the new little one. I would not be able to take it. She gave birth that week—and at the hospital I was able to announce that I was pregnant. Very newly pregnant but I was. I had never been pregnant in my life- this was a true miracle.

Going through Invitro fertilization was not for the weak. I must say- if you have done it or plan to do it you must be strong. I remember multiple ultra sounds laying in the room bawling my eyes out at why I had to go through this? Why!?!?! The routine ultra sound check to see if your eggs were growing like they should be. I remember a time being afraid of needles. After being stuck every other day for multiple weeks I now can prep that vein even before the nurse steps foot into the room.

I was in secret with the process. Kevin and I told very, very few people. We weren’t ready to share. I was not ready. I was embarrassed and ashamed. My body was not doing what it was intended to do. Doing this in secret was literally the worse thing I think we could have done for us mentally….always hiding from people and making excuses on why we couldn’t be at events. It was exhausting!! I will tell you this though—It did bring US closer together as a couple. All we had was each other a lot of the time. Just us home – alone—A LOT! Me laying in bed feeling “sick” but really I was definitely depressed. I also wanted to tell no one because- if it didn’t work I didn’t want the awkward conversations with people.

It did work though! We delivered twin boys in April of 2014. So blessed! So very blessed. I still though was not really ready to speak out loud about our struggle. I was just still embarrassed and didn’t want the questions. I wasn’t ready. Sure we got the questions and the looks and the “do twins run in your family?” And we just would say… YEP they do. Kevin’s friend, at the time, even had the nerve to post on his page- “hey, my wife wants to know—are your twins natural?” Like, really?—my blood still boils talking about it a little—why would you EVER post that question – number 1. Number 2—are they natural? Really,? No, they are fake kids——–I can assure you after throwing up for 18 weeks and carrying these 6 pounders in my belly for 36 weeks and 5 days strong— I can assure you brotha- these babies are real. I kind of feel sorry for that guy because I REAMED HIS ASS for asking this question. Now looking back I guess I could have handled the situation better. I don’t think they talk anymore – hmm?

Listen, I know that people who have not dealt with fertility issues don’t know what is wrong and right to say. I will give you advice— if you have to question it in your heart if it is appropriate or not—THEN JUST DON’T SAY IT. I don’t care if its your best friend- your daughter – or your daughters best friend….JUST DON’T. Don’t ask it unless they seem ready and open to discuss…ok? Now, on another note—I am ready and open. My next round of IVF… I WAS READY— I mean I was a soldier!! Yup! I knew what to do and when to do it…. I did all my own shots and drove my own butt to the doctors appointments, with company sometimes–(they were like 2 ½ hours away). I had to be this way—I had two baby boys at home that needed to be cared for and a husband who worked crazy hours. I had to get tough and be tough. I told everyone who would listen what we were going through so I could ask for help—we needed it. It wasn’t about me anymore- it was about them. I needed to get through this without it effecting them negatively in any way. I did too- I really rocked this round of Ivf. I can honestly say that. I made it through—my body made it through. Long story short….. doctor says how many eggs you want to put it- KEVIN says ONE!! We have twins at home. Ok, fine—you have a 25 % chance of this working—Doctor recommends doing 2 eggs than chances go up to 60 percent. Kevin says NO- doctor says you will NOT get twins again—I can almost promise you this… Kevin says “doctor, one egg.” I am just going with whatever because I had to beg to do this again so soon anyway, right. Then the WEEK before the procedure is going to go through- kevin says—“lets just do 2.” I am like, OK- that is literally all I said – I didn’t want him to change his mind because I knew with one egg in the odds were against us—so 2 it was. 6 week later… ultra sound appointment—I know what to look for- I see it – I see TWO sacs…..kevin has no clue until nurse says—“o its twins!!” Me and kevin look at eachother – nurse says “are you ok?” I say—well, we have twins at home, they are 17 months old. Nurse says- “oh.”—kevin leaves the room nurse says “is he ok?” I say—“not sure.” Dead silence the entire ride home…the whole night almost. Now, we wouldn’t have it any other way.

So, there it is the story of our family.

-If you or someone you know is struggling with infertility and want to chat- please do reach out. I wish I had known someone to talk with and felt comfortable to talk about it going through. I think it would have been much easier the first round if I had that and if I had felt more comfortable. There is nothing wrong with you……this is the hand you were given and you can get through this. I know all too well. I cant make it all better but I can sure as hell try.:)

Do you drink alcohol?

I was asked recently if I drink.. no not water – if I drink alcohol. Actually, I was asked twice this week that same question- actually- I probably get asked weekly by several people if I have a cocktail or two once in a while. The answer is basically …..No- I don’t drink.

It is usually assumed by most that I don’t drink for one of 2 reasons- I am the Healthyhairdresser and how could I possibly live up to the name if I put toxins in my body…or 2 because Jesus says not to (I mean is this even true?). Well folks, I wish it were that simple- I wish I could blame it on my new found healthy lifestyle or on the Good Lord- but the answer is NO- to both of those. That is not the reason I don’t drink. The reason I do not consume alcohol is because I have an addictive personality- I have told you this before. I am, in most cases either balls to the wall or none at all. That is or maybe now I can say was my personality.

Years ago – I remember being at several gatherings with a certain person who never ever drank a drop- i mean EVERY SINGLE PERSON around them was on their way to a great time with some good ole spirits behind it and he never ever even had a taste. I asked my husband why- why this guy always came to the party with no bottle in hand? He told me- he used to- he used to be the life of the party- drank so much – so much until he couldn’t handle it and would get out of control- not In good way….so one day he said “enough” and just stopped then and there- never touched it again. I thought in my head- “what a boring life..he never ever drinks?.” Little did I know where my life was headed—Fast forward 10 plus years and now that is…ME.

I used to drink so much that I would get sick- or pass out – or black out- I would totally forget. That was the problem….I knew going into it that that is what I wanted- I knew when I started to drink I wanted to let go of my problems -my fears to be gone…my worries to go away -my anxiety to diminish…and it did- boy oh boy it did. I would slam them- slam those drinks right off the bat so I felt great immediately…I felt in place I felt like I had courage and strength and confidence—-until the next day when I would be sick and anxious about what I said or did or who I talked to or this or that. Horrible- it was a horrible horrible feeling….but I continued it- every weekend even sometimes in to the weeks.

Now- a lot of things have been lifted from me over the years…I feel like I have the my confidence up and my strength I feel like my anxiety and worries are under control for the most part….but I am just not ready- I am not ready to test the waters of alcohol quite yet.

It was not an overnight thing—it has been over the last few years that I have just drank less and less and less until none at all. DON’T GET ME WRONG—there are MANY MANY days I wish I still drank and smoked with the best of em- stressful days that I know it could help take the edge off- but I just don’t trust myself yet. Soon though- Soon I am hoping I can enjoy a cocktail or two with you and just really enjoy it- enjoy the company the conversation and the actual drink.

Until then, cheers-

Happy weekend to you all!

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NOTE: this pic was taken over 10 years ago- i was having a good time- clearly- i want to say I have had many good times in my life with booze…i just want to relearn how to have a good time without getting to crae crae.

Pound Cake- Low Sugar 🙋🥗🍰

Do you ever feel the need for cake mid week? I know cake is for special occasions and should be eaten in moderation- however…..I LOVE cake and I had a craving for it this week…so I thought this little number up and eat with no guilt (pintrest inspired with my veggie twist)

What you will need:

4 Tbs Butter

3/4 C Truvia baking blend or sugar sub (not fake please)

3/4 C Carbquick or Almond Flour

3/4 C frozen riced cauliflower (freezer veggie section)

1 tsp baking soda

1- 6oz container of Oikos Greek yogurt (i used banana cream)- I like this brand because the carbs are lower with the fiber count higher.

4 eggs

Cream together softened butter and sugar sub. Add in the greek yogurt. Now add eggs one at a time. Pour in the flour the cauliflower and the baking soda last and mix well.

Use a sprayed loaf pan and bake at 350 for 30 minutes then cover and place on bottom rack for about 10 minutes more (until center is not jiggly).

**TASTES BEST WHEN CHILLED for a while and set – not right away 🙂

If using cupcake tin your baking time will likely be shorter.

*** depends on what you need in your day for the count- I would say use this as a nighttime yellow snack but feel no guilt!

I topped with Halo TOP ice cream but you could even use a little more greek yogurt.

1/8th of the cake has only 1 net carb!

(Note: you know i dont do strictly low carb or keto or any of that but I DO choose my carbs very wise-if i am eating lower carb it is only lower in sugars and starchy not good for you carbs-i eat plenty of nutritious carbs every single day!!)

Enjoy!

80 Day Obsession Results🙋

Day 80/80

🤷‍♀️Before you congratulate me on sticking to a program for 80 days please read through…👇

😎80 Day Obsession RESULTS ARE HERE!!

How did I do on my 80 day obsession journey?

Here it is…

1- Doing the same program every day for 80 days bores the shit out of me

2- I don’t have time for hour long workouts- let me rephrase ..I don’t want to work out for an hour every single day.

3- I can NOT eat before a morning workout

4- I refuse to get up at 3 am to eat for the morning workout

5- To the coaches and groups who did do the full 80 day.. your discipline AMAZES me and you should get a medal…. No joke – the results you all got are incredible!!!

For me though… I knew this very well going in…I told my challengers this even- I said- I likely will not be doing this every single day- I just wont- 60 minutes of working out, I just think it is not realistic, – personally. I also need spice in my workouts I need variety…one day I like trubofire the next I like a lil shaun T then I like me some running and some core de force and hip hop dancing then on to yoga some days or Pilates…..I just knew for me to do the same workout every single day for almost 3 months was NoT gonna happen….

HOWEVER- that being said- I did turn on autumn and her 80DOB at least a day or 2 a week and learned some AMAZING NEW moves to tone my abs and arms—those are the areas I need help with- I love having strong arms to carry my 4 babies and less fluff around the mid section if you know what I mean…SO I have to say her new moves for these particular body parts were AMAZING!!! I incorporated her moves- mainly her ab moves almost daily for the past 3 ish months.

Now – I did start a new Journey after the holidays- knowing fully that I OVER did it quite a bit and felt particularity bloated and not myself January 15th- when this all started….So I did start a challenge with my fit fam that week and also had another challenge in there as well plus a cleanse-

As you can see I did get results – Some great results….how?

By being realistic-to myself and my goals

By following an eating plan that works for me and my body

By using some of 80DO moves but other workouts that I LOVE DOING

By staying disciplined

By motivating others on there journey makes me stay on mine!!

So there you have it-= the #truth brought to you by ME….I would never be fake guys- I could have said these results were all from 80 day—but that would be a big fat lie- and why would I encourage you to do something that I don’t want to do.

****a LOT of coaches A LOT have had tons of success on this- I think it is a great program and would work for MANY MANY—just not for me. Love Autumn Love the idea- just not my gig.

Happy day!

💪🙋🙋‍♂️You have goals for your health and want a realistic way of getting there?? Reach out – WE WILL CONQUER THEM TOGETHER!!!

❤️❤️❤️❤️

**note there is barely any pounds lost here maybe 4 or less – #ditchthescale

#reallife #realgoals #goaldigger #bettertogether

One of my deepest darkest

🤓🙋Can i tell you something I am totally embarrassed about…I really am- when I was in my late teens and early 20’s I wanted to be thin SO SO SO bad I would have done anything- even risked my life. I took every diet pill on the market – tried starving- lots of Dt Coke and cigarettes…lots of Stacker 3000 – lots of ephedrine……tons of sleepless nights because I was shakey and my heart would race….lots of anxiety from all of it–people would compliment me all the time how much weight I had lost but little did they know i was literally dying- like killing myself on the insides….you know what I did not ever try-? Eating healthy and exercising….it did not even ever cross my mind- I guess i just did not know a lot about it- I mean my mom was always thin and she did exercise daily but I never even took interest in it at all….I was so bullheaded I was going to figure this out on my own….I serious cant believe I made it through those years you guys….I am so thankful that God knew there was going to be better for me and let me keep going- he let me fall and make mistakes but he always pulled be back up- NOW i know why…so I can be relatable and helpful to those who suffer with the same issues- body image….eating…insecure – issues…

👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇

I found a way- Eat healthy- and move your body.- period …If you feel overwhelmed on where to start my Simply Simple program is going to be PERFECT for you! Message me for a free video on this!! Let’s head in to summer feeling and looking our best- putting on our summer wardrobe with ease and feeling damn good about how we got there!

Causes of Inflammation

If you are feeling bloated or just puffy this could be why…

10 things that can cause inflammation according to health facts.com

1. Digestive Troubles

Excessive alcohol consumption, use of certain medications, and even vomiting can cause gastritis or inflammation of the stomach. This disorder can cause chronic inflammation, which originates primarily in the digestive tract. Digestive chaos or erosion of stomach lining can easily result in inflammation. Mostly, an anti-inflammatory diet that is high in essential fatty acids can work wonders for the intestinal tract. One can even combat inflammation caused by digestive disorders by using probiotic digestive supplements along with a regular workout.

2. Emotional Stress

Studies have found that psychological stress interferes with the body’s ability to control inflammation, which heightens the chances of disease. Emotional stress can trigger the body to produce the stress hormone, cortisol, which plays a role in the initiation of inflammation. Cortisol is a ‘fight’ or ‘flight’ hormone and is produced during times of stress when there is a potential risk of infection due to the causative agent of stress. However, when the fight or flight-provoking agent is resolved without harm to the body, the hormone is no longer needed, and inflammation can set in. This is evident by the fact that people who are stressed are often more susceptible to the common cold.

3. Physical Stress

In addition to emotional stress, your body acts in the same manner when the stress is physical. Chronic physical stress can result in high levels of inflammation. For example, a low blood sugar episode can set off an immune response, thus resulting in inflammation that can create disturbances in the intestinal tract. After restoring all the essential nutrients by consuming food, the body will return to normal.

4. Insulin Resistance

It has been shown that inflammation has a significant role in the development of type 2 diabetes. People who have diabetes are not able to produce required insulin (a hormone that controls sugar levels in the blood). People who are obese are commonly affected by the condition, although people with normal weight can also develop type 2 diabetes. With this condition, inflammation is not always apparent, but the symptoms affect daily lifestyles, such as tiredness, sluggishness, and general aches and pains.

5. Hormonal Imbalance

Inflammation is a byproduct of hormone imbalance in one’s body. An imbalance in hormones – like estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone – is what results in inflammation. It becomes visible when pro-inflammatory hormones signal white blood cells to clear the infection from the body. It is also a known fact that chronic inflammation can affect women going through menopause, and it is often accompanied by conditions such as adult acne or osteoporosis.

6. Synthetic Fibers

A lot of people can face an inflammatory response concerning some specific synthetic fibers. Fibers in products like plastics and latex can trigger inflammation. Most of the times such synthetic set-offs happen in household or workplaces. Such inflammation can cause a problem in your body without your knowledge, but many times manifests in the form of an allergic reaction.

7. Poor Diet

A lot of foods rev up inflammation. For example, when we eat a diet rich in fatty foods, the digestive system needs to work in overdrive to encourage digestion. In such cases, the metabolism slows down, and GI tract has to overwork. So, if you are consuming a poor diet, which is high in sugars and ‘bad fats’ (fast food), then you may notice inflammation. On the flip side, consuming a diet high on vegetables, lean meat, and good fats (fish oils, nuts, avocados) can put a stop to the inflammatory process.

8. Food Allergies

Food allergies and inflammation are intimately associated. Consuming foods, you are sensitive to can trigger inflammation, as hormones are secreted by adrenal glands that can undermine blood sugar levels. There are specific foods, including the ones containing gluten and casein which can trigger an inflammatory response. So, the best way to soothe inflammation is by eliminating foods that can cause allergies. Or, a good idea would be to take probiotic supplements which can support digestion, besides increasing good bacteria in the body.

9. Chemicals

Another common cause of inflammation is chemicals, specifically the ones that are airborne or irritants. Air fresheners and certain cosmetics that are directly absorbed into the skin can be responsible for inflammation. Not just these products, even mild exposure to chemicals at the workplace, home, the water we drink, or even the air we inhale cause result in inflammation.

10. Trigger Foods

Trigger foods are not as bad for a person as foods someone is allergic to, though some of these foods can cause inflammation. Products containing high amounts of linoleic acid like safflower, corn, soy, and even sunflower can make your body inflamed. In some cases, even diets having high carbohydrate levels can trigger inflammation. Therefore, it is imperative that a person pays great attention to the foods they have as that can affect your body adversely.

For more ideas on how to help Inflammation please reach out!~

Do you do what someone else does?? Ever feel Jealous

Ever feel Jealous?

👋Do you do what someone else does??

⚡️Are you a hairdresser?

⚡️Are you a professional?

⚡️A teacher?

⚡️A business owner?

⚡️An entrepreneur?

⚡️Are you a SAHM?

⚡️Fitness instructor?

⚡️Trainer?

⚡️Mom?

⚡️Sell products you believe in?

⚡️Wife?

⚡️Husband?

⚡️Father?

⚡️Are you up for a job promotion against someone else?

⚡️Do you have the same taste as someone else?

⚡️The same car?

⚡️House?

⚡️Are you a Christ follower?

⚡️Are you a good cook?

⚡️Do you like to inspire and be inspired?

⚡️To read?

⚡️To run?

⚡️To write?

🤔Do you feel annoyed or mad when someone else is doing what you are doing? Do you feel like- hey I do that or I sell that or I like to make that? Do you feel envy or jealousy just a little when you are up against someone doing the same kind of thing as you? Do you feel pissed😤 off when someone else says EXACTLY what you were going to say or what you are thinking? Do you feel intimidated that someone else is doing what you want to do, only better? Do you feel upset 😠or angry when someone is succeeding at WHAT you are good at and you want to do? Do you feel a little resentment😖 when someone has a nicer car or a prettier home or smarter kid or longer legs or better hair or better cloths nicer friends, etc. etc.etc……

Ok if this is NOT EVER HOW YOU FEEL than you are amazing❤️🙋 and I wish I had your confidence all the time….but if sometimes you feel this …even just one of these things sometimes it crosses your mind then listen….

😎You are normal…you are… we are normal to feel this way sometimes- IT IS COMPLETELY NORMAL!!!!!!!! Do you hear me- I bet 99 percent of us think this way at some point in our lives…and I am here to tell ya DON’T be upset about it- its fine- we have all been there and some still are and some that never have will be one day…I guarantee it..

🤓I promise you that if you reached out to the person you feel this way to I promise that they , 9 times out of 10 , will make an amazing friend….WHY? Because – you obviously both have things in common- you both like the same things want the same things do the same things…..I would approach it like this- HEY….can you tell me how you did this or have this where did you get that….YOU WILL LIFT EACH OTHER_ you are LIKE MINDED-

👯You will make great friends….and we honestly need those kind of people in our lives…people we share interest with- you make each other better…

🤷‍♀️Does this make sense? I am surely rambling….I hope you sort of get what I am saying here….

******

❤️Instead of sitting back stewing on someone’s success reach out and ask them how they got there!!❤️

Xoxo- ad

NOTE: I write theses things because I too have felt it!