Stop seeking approval

Do you ever make plans and it seems that you are kind of nervous about what to talk about or fitting in? I guess you could call it “social anxiety” maybe even in the smallest form but you still have it a little?

Suprisingly I feel like a lot of people might have a bit of this. I used to have it terrible! I mean really bad. I would get so nervous of what others thought of me or what I said or did i say something wrong.?…

Now= my life has changed— a lot. My motto in life has totally changed and if i find myself in situations that I am feeling uncomfortable or slightly anxious- i think a few things,,,

1. The only person who matters what they think of me is God and myself.

2. Do i have to change myself to be around this person ? To be accepted- if so then i will be spending WAY less time with them.

3. If they love me for who i am with all my flaws then these are my people- If not then “they gots to go.”

I had a relationship where i was CONSTANTLY trying to prove myself and my value- constantly trying to prove what i was doing and that is was good…i would always come out disappointed- always- i could never get this person to see my value. I then had a conversation with one of the smartest most chill men i know (kevin) and he said Adelei! Stop trying so hard- you dont need approval- just keep doing what you do no need for acceptance by anyone…..

—- STOP SEEKING APPROVAL—

You are worth more than constantly wondering if you fit in or if you are accepted or if you are saying or doing the right thing- you are worth more….YOU ARE WORTH MORE—

You can still be around those people who you wonder about but just keep them at an arms length and don’t seek their approval and above all

Dont change yourself to be something you are not to be liked by people who just might not ever accept you… Let go of it- its fine- your people will show and it will be great!

Xoxo- ad

Little Debbie downer anyone… sorry Debbie

Did you know that these use to be my go to “cheat” on the weekends. Sometimes even like 2 or 3 of them. – ok lets be real by the end of the weekend they were probs gone!

I am not saying you cant have cheats. I am not at all- and i am not saying that I dont have them either- because I can assure you that I do still have some snacking going on that is not the healthiest.

However, things have changed a bit. My taste buds have totally changed through these past years of cleaning up my eating. Things that used to taste SO good to me just taste fake and gross and artificial now.

If i am going to indulge it is not going to be on something that was made up of tons of chemicals in a factory where artificial this and that is the norm for ingredients.

Why am I saying this….i am saying this because I WAS there with you- if you are there today. If all of the yuck tastes oh so good to you but you want it out of your life and not sure how to get it. If it seems overwhelming to you or if it seems like you just cant think about it or do it. I am hear to say that you can!

Just start small- you dont have to wipe out your entire cabinet and throw everything away and overnight become the healthiest you ever. Not at all- but small, little steps can and make a big difference.

It took me a LONG LONG time to learn all I know about food and nutrition and ingredients and I am still studying and taking classes on it. You wont and dont have to learn it all overnight – just one day at a time.

So, what can you do right now…?

Today- check your labels and look at the SUGAR content. If there are added sugars in it start trying to find other options —

Example- ketchup….so much added sugar!! Try to find the lower sugar or better yet make your own!! I have been doing this and will be sharing in my challenge group this week.

Also, today be super aware of the food your eating- is it feeding you like food is supposed- feeding your cells in your body to be the best they can be or is it harming those cells and making it hard for them to produce and work efficient.

DONT think this is all over your head- it is not- stop being naive to it… this is your health your body your life TAKE control- start today!!

Read labels….drink water… move your body-

Those are your monday tasks!

Any questions??

Xoxo-ad

Your Purpose

What are you good at?

What comes totally natural to you?

What can you do without really thinking too much but others would have a hard time at??

In finding our purpose in life we sometimes run around in circles trying to figure that out. We sometimes get ourselves in this mindset that our “purpose” has to be this big, huge , planned out and sought after thing. When really, a lot of times our purpose in life is just right in front of our faces and we dont even know it.

Maybe seeking our purpose does not have to mean we need to soul search for years and dig super deep. Maybe our purpose is right on the surface of our every day life and we don’t even know it.

What comes easy to you?

In a chatting with my entrepreneurial besties this past week I was talking about my dance class I am teaching and one said to me- isnt that hard to learn and teach and practice? I answered her immediately “No, not at all.”

I am not saying my purpose is dancing I am saying that I have been in search of this “purpose in life” i have been in deep thoughts and struggles on how i can help others – that is my purpose- and all the while it was already surfaced…i am already doing my purpose- it comes so easy to me I almost missed it..

My purpose is to inspire- to help- to lift- to make others feel better and all the while it is helping me.. teaching others to workout, making their hair pretty, writing… this is all doing my purpose- i dont have to keep searching… i am living it- i am doing it already!

My purpose is to inspire….what is yours??

—-

**think right now about something in your life that you can do without really even thinking…something that comes easy and feels natural….you are on your way my friend- to finding your purpose 🙂 dont think it has to be some life changing huge event that happens…..it is tiny little events that add up…small little things that happen in our every day life…

Your purpose- we all have one…one is not bigger and better than the others. They are all just different. But, each and every one of us has one and YOUR PURPOSE, it is what makes the world go around my friend- even if you dont think it matters- IT DOES!!

Yesterday is was able to fill up my cup with my purpose- making my client of 10 plus years feel her best and she made me feel mine too!

Talking workouts- health and doing hair! Its a win win!

Will I ever be me again?

A page in my book due out next fall…….

October 24th, 2018

Someone very smart once said to me “It will never be the same, but that does not mean it won’t be great.”

After losing the baby just a few months ago, I found myself sobbing to Kevin this week about how I was already my best self and I will never be my “best” self again. I already was at the top of my game and I will never be there again. Why?

Not because I won’t lose the weight or run the marathon or not because I won’t achieve my goals of being a great mom, wife, fitness trainer, writer, cook, motivator…. It is not that.

I will never be my “best self” again because every day that I finally start feeling good again, every time that I start hitting those goals again I will still have the tug at my heart. I will still have that emptiness. I will still have that loss, that sadness. I will still think of my baby with the lump in my throat and the knot in my stomach.

I might be on my game again, I might run another marathon or might do more television segments, I might be in the top 10 of my coaching team, I might really nail momming it, I might have warm dinners every single night for Kevin and laundry all caught up before he gets home…. but I will never really feel like I am “my best self” because whenever I feel like I am winning at life I will still have the loss that will linger in me. For the rest of my life. Forever. The pain will not leave….it will get lighter, and it has, but it won’t leave.

With all that though…I do still have hope that it will be great again- I will be great again…..not the same…but, great can and will happen again to me in this life.

Trials we go through, they change us. They mold us. They make us who we are and what we stand for. They make us or they break us. Right? They can break us. They can. They have. I can say right now that

“The broken pieces will all come back together again and the light will shine through the cracks”…I can say that today, but it will take some time for me to really truly believe it.

“It will never be the same, but that does not mean it won’t be great.” This has changed me. This whole thing has changed me.

I wont be the same- but, then again- maybe I was not meant to be the same. I won’t be the same but I will again be great.

Spider Costume DIY

As seen on MOMS EVERYDAY aired October 23rd, 2018……

With Halloween fast approaching my son was wanting to be a spider this year. We have a tote full of costumes that are like brand new and yet he wanted the spider. I was not about to spend money on yet another costume so I decide to do some digging and found almost all these items in my home to make it for him!

You will need:

2 Pair of long black men’s socks

Black stocking cap

Tissue paper

Black zip up sweatshirt

Black sweat pants

Black gloves

Hot Glue gun

Google wiggly eyes ($1 store)

—-

You will want to stuff the socks with the tissue paper and secure them on the back of the sweat shirt with a safety pin or with hot glue gun in the place where you want the legs to be. I also recommend then adding a string along the arm of the sweatshirt to each sock on each side and secure this with hot glue so when they raise their arms the spiders legs can raise too.

Glue as many eyes on the stocking cap as you would like. I would first put the cap on your little one to see where the fold will be then use that as a guide.

You can safety pin on the garments instead of hot glue incase you want to save them for later use.

Black shoes and socks and pants with black gloves and you are all set!

Video here👇👇👇

https://d2pvyxdw30n8fd.cloudfront.net/WMTV/v5bbf65fb51603/Moms_PAM_BI18_forair.mp4

What I am and that is ok!

My life.

I tried to go back to “working” out of the home a few days a week. I loved the thought more than actually doing it. I had the littles in daycare a few days a week and the big boys are already in school part time.

It was all going too fast. Just a few months that past by with this busy schedule made me realize so much. My kids are only babies once. My baby making years are over. That is tough to sit with for me. Tough.

I am having such a hard time grasping the fact that I am done. The chapter in my life is over of having newborns in the house.

I am heading into my 38th year of life and Kevin 40.

A new chapter is going to start now. I am not sure what it will all be. I dont need to know I guess….. I am excited for the next chapter but also having so many mixed feelings.

I was not ready to close the book on having more kids- but we are closing it. We are going to enjoy every single moment with these four littles. Taking every smile in every cry every tantrum every hug every snuggle everything.

Your life is right now. It is what you are doing right now. It is not next year. It is not when you get the raise. It is not when your kids get a little bigger. It is not when you lose the weight or get the promotion or take the vacation. It is not next week or next year or next month. Your life is what you are doing right now.

And what i am doing is being the best damn stay at home momma i can be. And that is ALL I need to be.